Europe 16 – Sex and Death

Early, with Louisa this time, to Paddington, leaving the rest of the Harvey Fryer clade still snoring. A 9am meeting with Acb, our first face-to-face for several years. As I mentioned to L on the train, every time I see him I look in vain for the first signs of ageing. This time, perhaps, for the very first time, I can see just one or two lines, a hint of grey. Which leaves only me now, of all the world, still looking exactly the same as I’ve always done. Well, I knew this day must come.

We are off somewhere – a special Somewhere, Acb’s pick and a secret, my only clue being that there is a minimal dress code (shoulders covered, no knobbly knees). A mosque, I guess, and am nearly right. The tube is overstretched, so we find a bus, and in the left front seat of the upper deck we catch up – his sister’s death, some health issues for us both, lovers come and gone. Plenty of smiles, some moments of reflection. And then, there it is, in the uncharted wastes of Neasden, the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir, the largest Hindu temple (for the time being) outside India. And it’s a delight – the ideal palate cleanser for a trip full of cathedrals, a hand-carved confection of fractalising marble. The locals are models of hospitality, thanking us for visiting, answering questions patiently and at length, as gracious as any Good King from a story. We do our honest best to be the guests they deserve, and only once sense that we have forgotten ourselves sufficiently to talk loudly enough to distract one of the worshippers. At the end, with honest regret, I plead that family commitments prevent us from staying for the prayer service which we are invited to join.

Those commitments are waiting for us back at Paddington Station, two excited boys and Anna, who is off to see her ex, Mehmet. I am relieved to see that her nerves at that forthcoming meeting, in evidence over the last 24 hours, seem to have abated. Wishing her a fulfilling day, Acb and I steer the boys in the direction of the Science Museum, where Uncle Acb quickly turns into the sort of uncle that nephews adore. All three get told, more than once, that if they don’t behave, none of them will be getting any ice cream.

The museum has something for us all – some ancient computers, several of which I have used, a reconstruction of Crick and Watson’s 1953 model of DNA, rebuilt in the 1970s using several of the metal elements that appear in the famous photograph, Stevenson’s Rocket, the Command Module from the Apollo 10 mission. We watch a short 3D movie about the Apollo 15 mission, in a cinema fitted with chairs that jolt us about in synchrony with the events depicted. Seb, in particular, is delighted.

Goodbye to Acb and back to Bray to leave the kids with the babysitter, Steven and I then back into London on the train. Our (fairly minimal) efforts at presentability are undone by a carriage like an oven, the air conditioning completely overwhelmed by the numbers and the conditions. We squelch into the Southbank precinct to find our womenfolk at a riverside Mexican joint. A text from Anna on the train tells me, mystifyingly, that “Member still with [her]”, which utterly defeats me, so I am unprepared when I arrive at dinner to find her ex-husband sitting at the table. Unprepared but, I discover, unsurprised and certainly unshocked. We don’t have time enough to make proper acquaintance, but the meeting is a happy one for me and, I trust, for Mehmet. I hope we will manage another hour at least before we leave the country on Sunday.

After dinner, next door to the National Theatre, and Yaël Farber’s reimagining of the tale of Salomé. The production is astonishing, visually a dynamic Renaissance painting, the mood intense, the almost ceaseless singing heroic and beautiful and a core element of the work. Together, those elements make a stunning impression. If some of the actual words sounded more like the study notes on the text rather the script one might have hoped for, while others flirted with pretension, one could overlook such flaws in the overall emotional experience. A memorable night.

Europe 15 – British Museums

From Steven & Louisa’s (playing at being the father of a girl at last, picking out a dress), the train to Paddington, Steven along for the morning. An irritatingly long time spent getting working phones, but the second batch of SIMs proved not to be dodgy. Thereafter by double decker bus to the British Museum, where I was dismayed to see a queue stretched along the street. However, a chat with one of the uniformed chaps through the gate revealed that the delay was due to a fire alarm going off and the application of the precautionary principle. We went for a croissant while they sorted it out. When we came back, we were straight in.

And as entranced as I had hoped. The collection is remarkable. At Seb’s call we went first to the Egyptian mummies, although the exhibit that will stick in my head was that of a naturally preserved corpse, 5,500 years old, still showing hanks of hair and the stab wound that killed him. Some Assyrian friezes, of King Ashurnasipal and his attendants, both human and other-worldly. A tremendous depiction of a siege – of a known place at a battle nearly 3,000 years ago, the massed ranks of archers terrifying in their firepower. And the Greek marbles – the capturing of motion, filmy fabric, a breeze stirring hair, in marble by some unknown, long dead genius – were truly moving.

The boys did well-ish – their interest certainly ran out long before the adults’, but they restrained themselves from making life unbearable on those grounds alone. A replenishing drink at a milkshake joint that served dog biscuits with peanut butter sauce (from a section of the menu headed “Woof”) and frozen custard, but not tea or coffee – Anna and I plainly the wrong age group and/or species to meet their target demographic. Some grumbles as we pressed on to Parliament Square, where the statues have moved themselves in the night. Some familiar figures – the almost Quasimodish Churchill, Smuts the strutting bantam. And some new ones including, most endearingly, Mohandas Gandhi. It was almost a Proud to Be British moment. What other country would enshrine in its Pantheon a foreigner who arguably did more than any person in history to diminish its global standing and power. Unless, of course, one takes the view that at least when he started that project, he was no foreigner, but a British subject, who merely delivered a corrective to arrogant power – our Martin Luther King. I wonder whether that thought would have amused him.

Europe 14 – Stereotypisierung Verboten

Another day travelling. Alilaguna water bus to Venice Marco Polo, surely the only international airport named after a t-shirt. Thence to Düsseldorf, my first time in Germany. Terrific to see the Alps, snow-capped even in late June (but for how much longer?) but the most exciting part was certainly seeing more than half a dozen other aircraft, sometimes two visible in the sky at once, leaving behind curiously dark contrails like black smoke smeared across the sky. When they flashed past in the opposite direction, for the first time ever a real sense of the speed of jet travel was brought home. 

We were 45 minutes late getting off the ground at Venice, and correspondingly late into Düsseldorf – 80 minutes between connecting flights cut down to about half an hour. After a toilet break, we made our way as quickly as we could to the departure gate, at times breaking into a jog. At passport control, the official, “polizei” on his shoulder, radiated a lack of impressedness and raised his eyebrows not at our suspicious foreign documents but our boarding passes, which confessed our lateness. At the gate itself one of the ground staff noted, with the same lack of expression with which an aristocrat might advise that one does not spit on the carpet, that we were “a little bit late, sir,” addressing me, despite Anna being at the front with all of the documentation at the ready. I veered towards my tutor, but she indicated the other desk – her role was not to check our papers, merely to point out that we had infringed the rules. 

To Heathrow, and a terrific chat with the taxi driver Steven had arranged – an expatriate Algerian, who made us play guessing games over the origin of her accent, half Maghreb, half home counties – a game we’d never win. It’s Ramadan still, of course, but as a diabetic she no longer fasts. Her daughter, just 14, has been doing it for three years and loves it – a chance to lose some weight. At the girl’s single sex school in Maidenhead, her classmates are careful not to eat in front of their friend.

Finally, to Steven and Louisa’s, where we renewed our acquaintance with Stella and started one with Agnes, who was only a bump when we last saw our friends. Made to feel very welcome, an easy and chatty first night in England. We’ll sleep well tonight.

Europe 13 – Yellow Peril

Our hotelier – a very handsome and fashionably dressed young man – looked at my passport and asked me, “You are of Israeli extraction?” He had just finished explaining that he despised “southern Europe – Spain, Portugal, southern Italy”, a degenerate bunch with the self-destructive habit of consuming coffee and croissants every morning. He loved northern Europe. “Some people say, the Germans,” and here he made an untranscribable noise suggestive of dismissal, “but I like.” He was a mongrel, he told us, part Sicilian but with a grandmother from Tyrol. “When I visit the north, it is like falling in love.” Innsbruck is 200km away. 

He explained that the Chinese now owned a hundred of the best hotels in Venice, and they work like machines, not like the lazy Italians who, after an hour, and here he mimed texting on a phone. I half expected him to call his compatriots Eye-ties. Whatever you called them, they stood no chance against a billion robotic hotel acquirers. 

I was confused by the attribution of Jewishness. Confident that I was far too sloppily dressed to be mistaken for ultra-orthodox, I have never looked in the mirror and detected any hint of Semitism either in tone or physiognomy. But the matter was cleared up with his next query. The Lewis in my name is that of a Scottish Island, I explained, unconnected (to my knowledge) with the proud clan of Levi.

Yes, we came from Australia. “It is seen as a paradise, here,” he told us, “the only European country over there.” I quickly told him that the country was being overrun by the Chinese and would cease to be a white country within twenty years, which should kill any thought he had of emigration to avoid the Asiatic hordes threatening his homeland.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about this visit is seeing how Europe looks, demographically. I’ve been surprised by the number of east Asian faces, all speaking fluent Italian (as far as I can tell). I’ve no idea how many Chinese are running hotels, but plenty of them are serving coffee. All of the fruiterers on the Rio Terà San Leonardo looked to me to be from somewhere east of the Middle-east, but whether it was Pashto or Bengali they were speaking among themselves I had no idea. They certainly spoke Italian, too, and English well enough to tell me not to handle their wares as brusquely as any proud descendant of Guelph or Ghibelline.

In short, if the unassimilable Others I was warned of in Dubai are indeed here in Italy in numbers, they must be so ghettoed as to be invisible to the casual visitor. 

As for today, we took a gondola ride, because Venice, and strolled the shops, buying nothing. A low key day. I think we’re ready for a holiday. 

Europe 12 – In the Blink of an Eye

This morning I lay and watched my older son struggle to find a comfortable position in dreamworld and was struck, as never before, what an arrogant act his creation had been. With what unconcern I had been complicit in the creation of an entire universe. For what sum of experience I must take my share of responsibility. His sorrows. His end. He is twelve. His life enriches mine beyond anything looked for, but also burdens it with a guilt of which I will never be entirely free. And then, something in his dream filled him with delight, and it was so pellucidly reflected on his face that the room brightened like a firework.

I should not have spent today today thinking solely of my first born, for it is my second son who was unwell. After yesterday’s illness he held up well, but the close atmosphere and rocking of the river bus took their toll. Principally for that reason, our trip out today started late and ended early – a visit to the Piazza San Marco, a brief wave to the winged lion, and home again, where I think I was not the only one to get a little more sleep.

In the evening, though, it was Raf and I who set out again to find dinner. Once again, we took the river bus to San Marco. The man sitting next to us had the Corriere della Sera on his lap. The front page was dominated by news of the death of Helmut Kohl, and the image was of him and Mitterand at Verdun. I explained to Raf about Kohl’s role in the reunification of Germany, and the previous division of the continent. He asked questions about Communism and I filled his head with propaganda, because all such discussion is propaganda. All one can do is explicitly label it as such. We talked about European unity, and the astonishing time during my university days when it seemed that every night’s news broadcast was of a new world being made.

He and I had dinner in a restaurant in one of the absurdly narrow lanes in the San Marco district. We laughed and were easy with each other. He told me he loved me. I told him, “I love you, too, more than I can say. More than I show, at times.” Afterwards, at my suggestion, we walked in the approximate direction of the Ponte de Rialto (de, I learn, not di, because this is Venice) so that we could cross it. Having done so, we realised that the only sensible way home was to cross it straight back again and either catch the bus or walk. I pounced eagerly on Raf’s suggestion of the latter, and we made our way home, through the grey but lively streets, under the greying but still bright sky.

Europe 11 – Under the Appenines 

A last poke around Florence. Plans to get over the Arno to the Piazzale Michaelangelo foundered on the rocks of the Florentine bus system. After ten minutes sitting on a stationary bus, the driver arrived and said something in Italian which sounded dismissive, but then, it always does. Everyone who apparently spoke Italian got off, leaving only us and another young tourist. He said something even curter to her, and we all got off. Back to Piazza Santa Maria Novella for a drink, then a last go on the Carousel della Repubblica, a bite and we’re on the Frecciargento this time, once again doing 250 km/h without seatbelts. Many tunnels as we make light, or should that be dark, work of the Appenines.

At least, the work was light for a while. Half an hour into the journey Sebastian was fabulously, ebulliently sick, covering himself, his clothes, his seat and the floor in lunch. We made a fair fist of cleaning it up but the remainder of the trip was spent in the lingering odour of Parmesan cheese and ripe sneakers. I hope they mop these trains daily.

In the excitement, I missed our stop at Bologna and was only just back in my seat in time to see the Po flash past. I trust that the shade of Giovanni Guareschi will forgive me that I was not more alert as I passed, for perhaps the only time in my life, through the valley to which he took me so often.

Finally, Venice. Like Florence and Rome, it is full of Americans, and I keep telling myself that Americans who have been overseas are Americans who know that other countries really exist, which is a good thing. Venice also contains people like those who run Trattoria Pontini on the Fondamento Cannaregio, who despite a queue round the block will not hear of providing a tub of salad for me to take home to Anna, sitting with sick Sebastian, but send me off with a heaped bowl on their best crockery, to be returned when we can. Before going, a hasty plate of anchovies on rocket followed by a slower and superb gnocchi al Gorgonzola set me up nicely, and all is right while the littlest one sleeps off his wobbles.

Europe 10 – You’ll Uffizi and You’ll Bloody Well Like It

Some more random observations on Florence and/or Italy:

We live at Via della Scala 41. Like all civilised places, Florence numbers its streets so that all of the odd numbers are along one side and the even ones the other, and yes, I’m looking at you, Rome. However, our apartment block is right between Via della Scala Some Number Quite Close to 41 but Definitely Not Either 39 or 43 and The Joshua Tree Bar, which is also neither 39 or 43. The idea of putting the numbers IN ORDER apparently occurred to nobody. I’m not even sure that each house has a unique designator. I have a vague memory of seeing two number 35s – some doors apart, naturally.

For every purchase, no matter how trivial, one gets an invoice/receipt. A few days ago at Roma Termini station, I was given a handwritten receipt for €0,70 for the use of a public toilet by a solemn woman whose job it was to stand outside the loo for that purpose. The docket noted the date and time as well as the purpose of the transaction. Apparently, had I already ordered food from one of the stalls I would have been spared the charge. The children weed for free.

The purpose of this flurry of paperwork quite escapes me. Do Italians claim piss breaks as deductible expenses on their tax returns?

Some of the one- and two-seater electric cars I’ve seen tootling around the laneways of Florence are simply the darlingest things ever. I want to see a caper movie in which the cops chase the robbers in them, at 35 km/h, perpetually having to stop to avoid running over slow moving American tourists engaged in animated conversation with other slow moving American tourists, oblivious to the architectural beauties that surround them and, indeed, the traffic. How could one not love any city which has rendered Range Rovers useless encumbrances, rather than just their drivers?

Yes, yes, the day. Morning to the Cattedrale de Santa Maria del Fiore – the big one, with Brunelleschi’s great dome on top. The queue was already an hour long – there were signs at intervals along the side of the cathedral providing the timing estimate. Sodding that, we ambled southwards, pausing for drinks before Anna and the kids backtracked to Piazza della Repubblica and the carousel, while I explored the ticketing system at the Uffizi with the aim of making it as painless as possible when our pre-booked time arrived. It was time well spent, and at the appointed hour we only had to wait perhaps 30 minutes before we made it inside, and I only had to beg a bored Raf twice to desist from annoying his tired brother for entertainment purposes. Having explained how much this visit meant, and asking him bluntly, man to man, not to fuck this up for me, the kids got with the program and I can have no complaints about their patience, even when we pushed into a second hour (including drinks break) and tested it sorely. Good kids. I take back everything I’ve ever said.

So, a good hour in the company of Ghirlandaio, Caravaggio, Leonardo and Titian, and the soul is better for it. The highlight, for sheer surprise, Rosso Fiorentino’s Moses Defending the Daughters of Jethro, a dynamic, nearly modernist act of violence, painted in about 1523.

And that’s enough, for one day. OK, a few more carousel rides. €5 for 6 goes, and a bargain.

Europe 9 – La Ricerca dei Giardini

Further observations about Florence: Trees are too good to waste on the poor.

At a certain point today, the need for some sort of greenery got to us all, but especially Anna. The map suggested that a large garden – Il Giardino de Boboli – was to be found on the south side of the Arno, behind the Palazzo Pitti. I’m sure it is, but after going through the gate that the map suggested, to be told that we were going the wrong way, and then going to the entrance, to be told that we needed to go to the ticket office a hundred metres further on, then realising that if they are charging €7 a pop to get in it’s going to turn out to be one of those formal European gardens where you’re not allowed actually to touch anything that grows, we gave up. What we really needed was a place for the kids to run around on grass for a bit. The map suggested that two other gardens were nearby-ish. They probably are. The walls around them suggest that something quite nice is there, anyway. At the second one, we spoke to a chap and asked him if he knew where we could take our now busting seven-year-old for a wee. Misunderstanding, he gave us directions to the nearest public park, which the map shows as a tennis court sized area in the middle of a roundabout that it doesn’t even bother to colour green. Maybe he didn’t misunderstand at all. We went to a bar, instead, where I bought two bottles of water and a bus ticket, and the others bought some relief from their nagging bladders. The bus was a half hour wait, so we had a coffee across the road. €1.30. Back in the land of the civilised.

Before all of the above, we had strolled. Saw the replica of Michaelangelo’s David outside the Palazzo Vecchio. The photo above of Sebastian is not a mistake – that’s what his face looks like now, as far as I can tell. Found a tiny geocache in a lane just off, and ran into another couple of cachers – the first time we’ve ever done so – an older couple from the Netherlands (according to her) or Holland (according to him).

Later on, I went for another ramble, and accidentally tripped over the cathedral. The main one, with Brunelleschi’s famous dome. We will go back for a proper look tomorrow, but the picture below is pretty much my first sight of it. In the evening, a carousel for the boys in Piazza della Repubblica. No time for more details now.

Europe 8 – But Mostly Couture

A harried morning getting on each other’s tits in Rome was followed by our first high speed train ride, the Frecciarossa, which was followed by a harried evening getting on each other’s tits in Florence. At one point Seb ran off into the crowd on the Ponte Vecchio, Anna ran off after him, and in a sudden flurry of schoolgirls I couldn’t find anyone. A minute later the crowd thinned like smoke in a breeze, Raf found me and we waited anxiously for the others to reappear. Trying, vainly, to suppress the anger that has its origin in awareness of one’s own culpability, I repeatedly demanded of Raf to know how confident he was that Anna had caught up with Seb before the crowd closed in on them. Eventually, of course, we achieved reunification, but the intervening minutes of fear lasted hours. 

In fact, it has all been a bit emotional, and I don’t have the spirit for a full review of the day today. I will just jot down some impressions of Florence so far. 

Just at the end of our street (the Via della Scala) is the Piazza de Santa Maria Novella, with its eponymous basilica in the corner. My first sight of it was like a shot of pure oxygen – it gave the immediate impression of being the work of people who were looking forward, not back. No weight of history, no pretending to a false Classical continuity, the bloody Corinthian columns an understated afterthought. No sooner had that thought occurred than related ones followed. Like Rome, there are apparently no 20th Century buildings. Like Rome, the streets are narrow. They do not meet at right angles. But they are straight and surfaced with asphalt, which may not be romantic, but three days pounding the cobblestones of Rome have convinced me that they’re not so picturesque as they first appear and they are brutal on the soles. Viva modernity, in this regard at least. 

Secondly, Florence is one big catwalk. Where Rome is 50 percent basilicas and 50 percent ristoranti, Florence is 85 percent boutiques hawking the hautest of couture, and the citizenry is the most expensively and elegantly dressed of any town I have ever seen. In some moods, this would be my happy place. (Theoretically. After I win the lottery.) Tonight, clinging grimly to my sons’ hands, in the sour afterwash of terror and preoccupied with the parental failures of the day, I felt like the uninvited outsider at a party of richer, more fashionable and more beautiful people, and was content to skulk off the streets and leave the cool kids to it.

Europe 7 – Cathedrals and Couture

Right then, not going to spend another day deciding the queues are too long, so it was up at can, military precision, breakfast, street, bus, at St Peter’s Basilica only minutes after the target 0700h. Straight in, my fingers were twitching as they tried to obey the “no photography” signs until right in front of me a bloody nun was waving her phone around like an American tourist (which, of course, she may well have been). I looked around and all of the unitiated, unwimpled American tourists were doing to same, so stuff that. Out the phone comes.

Raf was the first to break, after about half an hour. Sticking to our plan (“we do the churchy stuff first thing, boys – after 10am the day is yours”), it was round to the Pantheon next, where at a café outside I paid $9 (€6) for a coffee for the first and, I trust, last time in my life. Again, we were there before less experienced travellers like the poor fools we were the day before were out of bed, and we’re straight in. So that’s the best preserved ancient building in Rome seen, tick, along with the tomb of Vittorio Emanuele II, also tick, and also of one of the Umbertos, also a Re d’Italia, and you’d think I’d be able to keep ’em straight, wouldn’t you, given that there were only ever a handful of them, but who could give a shit when there were only ever a handful of them, they only hung onto the throne for a century, and they couldn’t stop the country being taken over by a posturing bantam in jackboots.

Back to the apartment then, and the boys wanted to go geocaching, so we did, and found one in two tries, a sneaky little spot just off the Campo de’ Fiori. The rest of the afternoon was idled away by the boys while Anna and I, in a probably actionable neglect of responsibility, made sure that Raf could reach us via Hangouts and then buggered off down the Via dei Giubbonari where, in scenes never before witnessed by Man, Anna stood still long enough to be eased into a decent clothes shop, where a superbly enthusiastic shop assistant took over and, many euros later, we emerged with several additions to her wardrobe nodding towards style, sophistication and just the right amount of street. Also, at least an implied promise that I’m allowed to throw away some of the op shop misjudgements that occasionally still get an airing. For an idea of the new kit, see yesterday’s post. My own new jacket seemed a mere afterthought.

After that, once again, the tired throng hit the hay and I had one last roam around. Among other things, up the Capitoline Hill I slithered for a look at sunset, pictured below. The photo of some part of the Forum, above, was taken moments later, on the other side of the hill. By the time I got back to Il Campo it was well past can’t, but I needed to try a cacio e pepe to complete the Roman trifecta, after Saturday’s amatriciana and lunchtime’s carbonara. It was fine, but won’t replace either of those others in my heart any time soon. Tomorrow, Florence.