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Nick Fryer http://nickfryer.net Being shot at, from the barrel, by the fish Sun, 23 Dec 2018 10:20:03 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.4 http://nickfryer.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/cropped-cropped-Glasses1-32x32.jpg Nick Fryer http://nickfryer.net 32 32 89313549 The 9pm Arch Window of the Prostate Exam http://nickfryer.net/the-9pm-arch-window-of-the-prostate-exam/ http://nickfryer.net/the-9pm-arch-window-of-the-prostate-exam/#respond Sun, 23 Dec 2018 10:01:11 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1436 Part two of my co-hosting of The 9pm Edict, complete with colonoscopies, prostate examinations and the National Party.

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The 9pm Arch Window of the Baked Goods http://nickfryer.net/the-9pm-arch-window-of-the-baked-goods/ http://nickfryer.net/the-9pm-arch-window-of-the-baked-goods/#respond Sun, 23 Dec 2018 06:33:07 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1433 In a slight change of pace, rather than produce an Arch Window segment for The 9pm Edict podcast, I joined Stilgherrian to guest co-host the show. This is part one of a planned two part experiment.

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Whose Side Are You On? http://nickfryer.net/whose-side-are-you-on/ http://nickfryer.net/whose-side-are-you-on/#respond Thu, 27 Sep 2018 13:53:00 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1422 The Arch Window number 39, in which we put you in your place.

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Loop Quantum Gravity http://nickfryer.net/loop-quantum-gravity/ http://nickfryer.net/loop-quantum-gravity/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2018 11:55:12 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1409 The Spandrel has a new album out. I’m hearing 90 minutes of dance floor bangers, something with a lot of sweat and sunrise the only enemy. Grab us a bottle of water, if you’re going?

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The Humid Press of Days http://nickfryer.net/the-humid-press-of-days/ http://nickfryer.net/the-humid-press-of-days/#respond Fri, 02 Mar 2018 13:29:20 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1392 The Arch Window number 38, in which we express ourselves freely, because no-one will pay for it.

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Compost http://nickfryer.net/compost/ http://nickfryer.net/compost/#respond Thu, 01 Feb 2018 02:16:34 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1369 Just had to lay down the law at home. New sign in the kitchen:

Compost – Frequently Asked Questions

What is compost?

Compost is organic matter that has been decomposed and recycled for use as fertiliser.

Where does it belong?

Outside. There’s a bin set up specially to contain it. It’s called “the compost bin”.

But I generate compost in the kitchen. What can I put the compost in, inside the house?

You can’t. Compost is decomposed organic matter. Organic matter in the kitchen that has started to decompose is called “rotting food” and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

OK, you tedious pedant – what can I store the waste organic matter in that I generate in the kitchen?

A soup or pasta bowl.

That seems rather anally specific. Why a porcelain bowl?

Unlike a plastic tub, it’s easily cleaned in the dishwasher. Do not use a plastic tub. You know who else used plastic tubs? Hitler used plastic tubs.

Sometimes I generate more organic waste than can fit in a bowl.

So go outside and empty the bowl. Then you can start filling it right up again.

That’s boring. Can’t I use a large plastic tub instead?

Now who’s taking the piss?

Can I use more than one bowl?

No. As soon as the bowl is full, you must put the contents in the compost bin.

If I don’t fill the bowl right up, can I leave it there until it is full for, like, days?

No.

How long can it sit there on the bench top?

Two hours, max. Less, if it’s a hot day.

What? Two hours? Shit.

Yep, two hours. Max. Put it in the bin.

But that’s all the way outside.

It’s called indoor/outdoor living. It’s all the rage.

But it’s all the way outsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.

It takes forty-seven seconds to walk to the compost bin and back. I timed it.

OK, if I only use one bowl, can I keep filling it and piling stuff on top until it’s overflowing and there’s just a large pile of crap with a bowl probably located somewhere underneath it all, only you can’t see it for the day old porridge and mouldy bread and flies?

No.

If I break any of the above rules by using a big plastic tub or just piling waste material on top until it’s a stinking food garbocalypse, will it make it all better if I just put the thing in the sink instead of leaving on the bench top?

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

What happens if I break the rules?

I will throw the whole horrible mess in the garbage when I see it. If I’m in a bad mood I’ll probably throw the tub in with it.

This is bullshit.

Forty. Seven. Seconds.

I hate you.

I can live with that.

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Fragment – Farmers’ Market Diary http://nickfryer.net/fragment-farmers-market-diary/ http://nickfryer.net/fragment-farmers-market-diary/#respond Mon, 25 Dec 2017 22:02:34 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1009

A snippet I found lurking on Google Drive, part of a project that (like so many) apparently started with a certain sparkle but failed to live long enough to have a part 2. It’s maybe three years old. Liz is in Dublin now, and I haven’t seen much of Heidi since, but here it is.

Saturday was the Farmers’ Market, of course, which meant coffee with Liz.  Liz is the closest friend I’ve made since moving to Willunga.  She’s a midwife, an academic, and a witch and occasionally, I suspect, more of each of those things at the same time than she can easily integrate.  I am sure that she wouldn’t baulk at a little sympathetic magic over the neonates, and I have a feeling that faculty meetings could be quite interesting, too.

It was a sunny morning, the day was full of promise, and we were at the market early enough to watch it come to life around us, so we quite naturally fell to talking of all the ways we were fucked up by our parents, and all the more significant ways we are fucking up our own children.  From there we fell, by turns, into a wide ranging exploration of psycho-sexual development and the differences between men and women.  I spoke, quite poetically I thought, about the seeming self-containment of women, and of the very different male experience, at least as observed from the inside.  I tried to convey the deep, driving urgency of the male sexual need – its power, its everpresence, the hunger, the frustration. Liz bought me a cup of coffee.

We chatted briefly with a new acquaintance, Heidi.  Heidi is an artist, medium paint and pencil, who lives in the Arts Eco Village, a nearby demicommune whose chief claims to ecological sensitivity are communal recycling bins and roads made deliberately narrow and windy, so that one doesn’t see the skateboarding child until it is too late.  Before you have time to react he has done a handstand on your bonnet, tagged your rear bumper with indecipherable hieroglyphics and released a hip hop album.

Heidi is working on a new project intended to explore and celebrate the mature male form.  Seeking to break out from the usual study of male life models, who are all apparently about 20 years old and come to the studio straight from the weights room at the gym, Heidi is looking for men of a more generous figure who are willing to be drawn and painted in the outfit they were born in.  She tells me that the car bonnet she is planning to use is not usually too hot first thing in the morning, and the subject’s modesty will be preserved by the tasteful placement of a range of light weaponry.  Any volunteers can contact me via the website.

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Gaslighting for Dummies http://nickfryer.net/gaslighting-for-dummies/ http://nickfryer.net/gaslighting-for-dummies/#respond Sun, 24 Dec 2017 13:05:47 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=1003

The Arch Window number 37, in which we decide that she’ll be right.

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Give Us A Smile http://nickfryer.net/give-us-a-smile/ http://nickfryer.net/give-us-a-smile/#respond Sat, 02 Dec 2017 10:28:14 +0000 http://nickfryer.net/?p=987

The Arch Window number 36, in which our imaginations run wild.

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